Unconditional Music Love: “I love to hear you sing”

8 Jun

I remember being in 6th grade and singing a song to myself in school — maybe at recess? maybe in the cafeteria? — and some boy saying, “Hey, who sings that song?” After I called out the name of the singer, the boy said, “Better let HIM sing it then…’cause you sound AWFUL!” Ha, ha. Very funny. And I can still feel the sting of that “joke.”

As children go through life, they all encounter “music bullying” like this. Sadly, it seems to be a part of our culture. As parents, perhaps we can provide an antidote to this kind of music bullying. WE CAN SING!  The more our children hear us sing, whether we’re “good” at it or not, the more they develop an understanding that music is just something we do as part of our daily lives, regardless of what other people do or say. And, we can say to our children, “I LOVE TO HEAR YOU SING” — regardless of what they’re singing or how they’re singing. (Of course, we can do the same thing with instrument play: “I love to hear you fool around on the guitar.” Or, “I love to watch you play the drums.” And we can fool around and play ourselves, too.)

Instead of being so focused on the end result, saying, “I love to hear you sing,” simply honors the process of singing, regardless of outcome. It’s unconditional musical love. Instead of saying things like, “You sound great,” (which is all about the product, not the process) it’s easy just to say, unconditionally, “I love to hear you…,” or, “I love to see you…” That’s what I strive for in music class — with the children AND the parents — and it’s what I strive for at home. I’m hoping that when some music bully says to my kids, “You couldn’t carry a tune if it was in a bucket!,” the unconditional music love antidote will go to work, and they’ll just keep on singing.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Unconditional Music Love: “I love to hear you sing””

  1. lynnerubin June 8, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

    Beautiful and well-put. I remember those music “jokes” too. So glad I know better know and am surrounded by people who not only know better but DO better! P.S. I LOVE to read your blog :-)…

    • annesailer June 11, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

      Thanks, Lynne!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: